Leaving Chemo last Thursday gave me an array of feelings. First of all I couldn’t believe that I had gotten through twelve rounds of Chemo. Thinking to myself how quickly and at the same time how painstakingly slow six months have gone. Then came the realisation that I didn’t know what came next. Fear of the unknown often makes your mind wonder, this can be dangerous for a daydreamer like me. Other than a few tests in January to finally see the outcome of the Chemotherapy treatment - who knows what the next part of my journey is going to be. It could be Radiotherapy but I mustn’t forget that finishing Chemo is a massive step in itself. Although this is not the end of my treatment - merely just the beginning - I feel this is a definite step in the right direction. So how can I describe what I am feeling right now…I suppose I am happy but mostly holding my breath.
Tuesday, 14 December 2010
When I’m out and about I am often in my own world. Glad to be away from the house, glad to have energy. I just think that I am my old self in my old clothes and my old life and for just a moment everything is fine. But then I take my hat off and I see one person, two, three, all starring. I don’t really mind the starring when I’m ready for it but on the odd occasion I do forget for a slight second what I’m going through, what I look like, and that’s the moment I find everything comes crashing back down to reality.
Sunday, 12 December 2010
Knowing that you are going to lose your hair can be quite frightening. Many people struggle with this part of the treatment and to say that it didn’t bother me just a little would be a lie. I had long hair which I had spent 3 years growing and knowing that it was all going to go, well I can’t really describe my feelings but you can probably guess. I was immediately on the internet looking for stories, ideas, solutions, something that I could work with. But just a quick google search and I was blown away by the amazingly bold moves of some celebrities. I actually became excited by the possibility of becoming bald. As part of my research I went to the different programmes that were available to me. I tried different ways of tying a head scarf to different styles of wigs but I have always much preferred going au naturelle, feeling that if I did wear a wig I would be conscious of it the whole time and well what if my wig slipped, would someone really tell me? I don’t think so. So here are some inspirational pictures that dared me to be different.